The Amelia Bulletin Monitor

TOOL-NAMING & THE CHICKEN RANCH?

Wayne’s Wisdom


Tool-naming

Do you name your tools?

I don’t name all of them but a few do have names.

My favorite is “Cyndi,” the hedge trimmer. She is named after Cyndi Lauper because the tool lops off small branches. Cyndi is a very good “lopper.”

I also have a small battery chainsaw named “Tom.” He is named after the Mark Twain character “Tom Sawyer.” Tom’ll saw yer branches for ya.

For obvious reasons my shovel is named “Doug.” I had briefly considered the Australian-sounding “Digger,” but decided that would have been even more obvious.

Lastly, my garden rake is named “Don Juan” after the famous fictional Spanish womanizer from the Lord Byron poem. Back in 1800’s Britain, he would have been known as a “rake.”

So far, I have resisted calling my hammer “M.C.” (no explanation necessary) because I’m afraid he might let it go to his head and be impossible to work with.

Here’s a sentence using my tools: “This weekend Tom and I sawed off some tree branches which were too big for Cyndi to lop off and Don Juan raked up the mess afterwards; while Doug had the day off.” The Chicken Ranch?

Here’s a solution for all those empty poultry houses in Amelia.

Get the legislators and the local board of supervisors to allow casinos in the county and convert the poultry houses into casinos, bringing loads of money into the county.

The houses already have electricity and water so they just need to be remodeled a bit. Adjoining houses could be turned into hotels and restaurants. The extra poultry houses could even provide housing for the female professional companions. The establishment would be known as the “Chicken Ranch.” Oh yeah, I guess that name is already taken.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *